What a sad lamp.  We can’t tell if that’s graffiti on the side or just what got scribbled on it at the last yard sale. At this stage of its life it’s more dust, cigarette residue and grease than it is lamp.  Brittle electrical cords dangle off the side.  Dead bugs carpet the interior.  The feeble light inside flickers on when asked, most of the time.

I thought about painting each of those little divots a different color, just to spruce it up a bit.  Maybe even paint it fire engine red or something.  Put spikes on the chain for that gothic look.  But I don’t know.  The thing dates back to the Nixon administration, when the wonders of electricity were probably new to this part of the island.

Well, the new lamp came in today.  It’s … adequate.  I mean, it’s nice.  I love the color.  Any color.  Please get some color in this house!  Lamps on chains aren’t my thing, but it gets the job done without me having to move the ceiling receptacle, so I’ll take it.  I’ve been looking forward to replacing that old crappy light fixture for weeks now.  And the new one’s neat looking, sort of.

The old one is being donated to The Exchange next time I go down there.  Either that or use it for Hammer Throw practice.  Pretty sure I could get it into the ocean if I throw it off my front deck.  If there’s enough interest I’ll start the annual Old Chain Lamp Hammer Throw Competition.  Judge for distance and accuracy.

Well, hopefully you can tell which one is the ‘before’ pic and which one is the ‘after’ pic.