A Closet Fit For A Magazine Cover

Yeah, well, almost.  The closet is nicely done, but now that it’s finished, we feel the need to get nicer stuff to put in it. All our current stuff looks like crap.  It used to look good, but that’s because it was in a really ugly closet.


Yeah, this is a vast departure from the before pictures (need a reminder?  click here.)  Now our closet is nicer than our bedroom.  I’m really not kidding about that.  It’s clean, it’s painted, it no longer smells funny, all the mold is gone, all the splintery paneling is gone, all the exposed beams are wrapped and covered.  It’s really nice.

cactus pete

Thank goodness I only own one leather jacket, otherwise the closet would start to look cluttered.


That old bare light bulb with the frayed string dangling from it was really getting on my nerves.  It was kind of gross to even touch it.  It’s funny, I replaced it with a dirt-cheap light fixture and it looks ten times better.


And it has a freaking light switch.  And the power outlet is up to code.  You no longer fumble around in the dark wondering if you’re going to get electrocuted by the exposed wiring, because there are no more exposed wires!  It’s all in boxes and covered by switchplates.


That shelving back there really helps.  Okay, a little honesty here:  we own more than one jacket.  Right now you see just the one jacket hanging in there but I have to admit, while this closet is not posing for photographs it has like ten or twelve jackets hanging in it.  So those shelves are a little hard to get to.  Who cares?!  I have shelves!  It’s the back of the closet, it’s where we store crap we never need and never use.

mysterious box

All I really ever need is my gym backpack, and it’s front and center.


And the door is finished and installed.  It’s fantastic.  It was by far the easiest door install I’ve ever done.  It fit perfectly!  I must have measured everything correctly for once.


These hinges cost more than the door itself.  I don’t skimp on hinges.  I get solid brass, well machined hinges.  They won’t rust, and they’ll last longer than the house will.


I really like the rough, weathered, distressed look of the wood.  Some of it was artificially done (me stabbing the door with a knife, etc.) but a lot of it was purely natural.  This lumber was sitting outside for about a year, and I did not treat it gently.  I love the result.  It has the look of old reclaimed wood from some remote corner of the world.  And given that our hardware store is in a remote corner of the world, that’s not far from the truth.

So, now I need a closet door

Don’t ask what happened to the old closet door.  It was one of those cheap, crooked hollow-core doors, the kind that I hate.  Really hate.  And I have a lot of martial arts weaponry in this house.  Let’s just say the old door is no longer in one piece, and we’ll leave it at that


I seem to have made a few doors since I got here.  I’d actually prefer to restore old salvaged doors (yeah, I’m weird. I know.  No need to tell me that.) but around here that’s not easy to obtain, so I’ve just made my own.  I just use construction lumber, a little distressed and more than a little imperfect.  It’s knotty.  It’s naughty!  It’s bent and twisted.  But I like the look of it when it all comes together.  On this door, the sandpaper I went through cost me more than the actual lumber.


Dry fit.  Yup, it’s a door.


Glue-up went really easy and the door seems like it’s going to be flat, straight, and square.  Not a lot of huge defects on this, despite all the knots there weren’t a whole lot of fissures or cracks.  All the cuts went well, nothing split and there were no huge splinters to impale my hand on.  I foresee a little shrinkage in its future, as its final resting place is right next to the wood burning stove, so it’s going to dry out like a bone in the desert.  But I can handle that.  As long as it opens and closes without having to use a fireman’s axe I think I’ll be happy.

Hippies Use Side Door

Speaking of doors…

Demolition for Every Closet

I started asking myself what was different about my closet compared to, say, normal peoples’ closets.  Why is my closet never pictured on the front of magazines?  What is so wrong with it?  Why do people threaten me with violence when I offer to put their coat in my closet?  Something is just different about mine, and to make it more socially acceptable, I started by removing all the things that I didn’t see in those magazines.


Well, I ended up with this.  No paneling, and a bunch of uneven posts that by some miracle hold up the stairs.


Long gone is the bare light bulb and its frayed pull-string, though these electrical wires will pose a challenge to do correctly.  I drew out the circuit, and I have to connect four 12 gauge wires together in this box.  Sucks to be me.


Not to mention the ethernet cables, the HDMI cable, all those speaker wires for all the speakers I planted around the house.  This is a lot of copper.



This section of wall has always been a little off, and now I know why.  They installed the bottom plate right on top of that green carpet.  They couldn’t even be bothered to take up the carpet to extend their wall 24 inches.  That is seriously lazy.


It took a while to get all the electrical tucked away neatly (not to mention correctly) and put in a few more studs for the drywall.

pay n pak

Anyone here still remember Pay n Pak?  Yeah, didn’t think so.

drywall deck

The weather was nice, so the front deck made for a really good area to carve up all that drywall.  This is a small closet, but it still swallowed up six sheets.  Lots of irregular pieces going in there, not to mention I had to carry them into some confined areas.  It was like playing Operation:  carry that big heavy sheet of drywall and don’t hit a door frame.  Bzzzzzt!  Oh, you’ll have to sand out that dent now.


Finally, some nice, shiny, mold-resistant drywall up, inside and out of the closet.

no help

No help.  No help at all.