Let’s Make A Screen Door

Posted on May 24, 2015 by Jef

No point buying an air conditioner up here for the one month you might need it, but it is really nice to be able to leave the door open in the summer without every yellowjacket, bumblebee and winged carpenter ant flying inside looking for something to sting and bite. Trust me, we are on Critter Island, and we are outnumbered.

So, let’s make a screen door to let the outdoor air in and keep the critters out! Yeah, you can buy a screen door. But I’m a cheap bastard, and I like my things built correctly and made to last. So I picked up some douglas fir and started making sawdust.

This will all be mortise and tenon joinery. This door will have three rails (the horizontal pieces of wood that go on the top, middle and bottom of the door) so it’s pretty much going to be as simple as it gets. First I start cutting tenons for the rails.

The tenons cut very clean. My jig left just a tiny bit of work to do in the corner.

My “Magic Chisel” makes short work of it.

I finish up the tenons with a hand saw, and again clean up the surface with a sharp chisel.

I cut the mortises with a mortising machine, which takes a tedious job and does it adequately. Once this thing is done, I’ll have some nice rectangular holes to fit the tenons into. Note my fancy dust collection (the shop vac hose dangled over the paper towel holder).

The mortises are now cut and it’s time to dry fit everything. I’m putting in some vertical slats to give it a bit of interest. I’d say they help keep the raccoons out too but they won’t.

Here’s the slats fitted into the bottom and middle rails.

And here’s the dry fit.

When I’m working with pieces that need to be routed, I like to mark plainly the edge I need to rout away. This prevents me from screwing up a piece by feeding it over the router bit the wrong way. Oh, gosh, I’ve “never” done that before.

After about 3 hours on the router working with dull, worn out bits, I finally carved out the area where the screen will fit. Now it’s like a big jigsaw puzzle that just needs to be sanded and glued together.

This is literally all of the scrap wood left over from this project, stacked here Jenga style. See if you can spot the two deer outside.

Now it’s all sanded, glued and sitting in my shop drying up. I only needed three clamps to put this together, yay! Most of my glue-ups take about twenty clamps so that was gratifying, at least.

No Man’s Land

Posted on May 10, 2015 by Jef

Most of our land looks like this. It is rugged terrain, rocky and overgrown, where few bipeds will ever roam. The rocks are covered with just enough moss to make them slippery, and they’re still jagged and hard enough to break bones if you fall on them. Many of the plants are barbed or spiny and if they touch your skin they will sting all day. And so will the bees, and so will the wasps. The legion of carpenter ants are actually the most benign denizens of the jungle.

This is an old, decomposed tree stump that is so big that two trees are growing out of it. Read that again. Two trees make root in this tree stump. And not just little saplings, they’re 40′ cedars. Growing out of a tree stump.

These were my gardening tools today. My big saw, the Fiskars trimmers and a $5 machete. Against the jungle, they just didn’t seem sufficient.

More Driftwood Projects

Posted on May 9, 2015 by Jef

Driftwood.

Mesh plant basket.

Copper wire.

Yes, on occasion, I go down the artsy-craftsy path where it’s not always easy to tell the good ideas from the bad. Sometimes you just have to follow it and see how it goes. In this case, I think it went well. The driftwood I found looked like it could hold a potted plant, maybe something that trails down the sides. I initially thought to embed it in the ground but it would basically be a ground mounted deer feeder. That’s when I figured I could mount it on the wall, like a sconce. I just had to affix it to a slab of wood.

That’s where all the copper wire comes in to play. It weathers well outdoors, like driftwood, and the 12 gauge stuff is plenty strong enough to hold it in place. Just drilled through the wood in a few places to get it started and wrapped it tightly around the ends.

On the backside, the copper wires go through holes and are held in place by staples.

There. Now the prongs can hold a basket. I did wire the basket firmly in place and gave it some support so it wouldn’t deform too badly when I put dirt in it. That’s the last thing I’d need.

I nailed it to the side of the garage with copper colored boat nails. The slab of wood will protect the garage wall from getting wet. We put some kind of fuchsia in the basket and I think it will do well.

And it holds the plant well above deer level so it shouldn’t turn into chow anytime soon.

Bathroom Cabinets Completed

Posted on May 3, 2015 by Jef

There’s nothing like a finished project.

Finally have the bathroom cabinets all finished and the bathroom trim is painted to match. I’m not terribly happy with the paint job on the cabinets, no matter how much I sanded it and tried to get it smooth it just came out a little lumpy. It’s fine. I’ll live with it. It’s much improved from what was there.

I had some nice, dark brown wenge leftover from a previous project and I just needed to order a little more to make shelves for the entire cabinet. But even after I ordered more, I still didn’t have all that I needed. I had to join some narrow strips together to get the 4 1/2″ width I needed to complete the shelves. I’ve never joined an exotic wood like that; I’ve heard this wood can be a little oily and that sometimes interferes with the glue bond. That, and these are going to live in a damp environment and if they start to warp or deform at all they’re going to split right apart.

They seemed to glue together just fine and I think it’ll work. I would have preferred solid slabs but the wood is so dark and evenly grained that you can’t really tell that some of the shelves are joined. Here they are in place. Great fit, very sturdy.

Driftwood Handrail

Posted on May 2, 2015 by Jef

We’ve had this handrail on the side of our house since we moved in. I guess building codes require a handrail next to the stairs because they care about people, or something. It was installed at the last minute and at a very low budget. It wasn’t much to look at but I guess it got the job done. Well, I finally found something pretty cool to replace it with.

I’m not really a fan of making everything out of driftwood, but I found this piece a while back that would make Gandalf proud to use it for a wizard’s staff. It looked like it would fit well at the side door so it didn’t take me long to rip out the old handrail and affix this one to the wall.

I was going to make or buy some nice brackets to affix it but I discovered it was faster to simply use lag bolts and plug the holes with dowels. Actually fits fairly sturdy that way. I think it will work nicely.

Landscaping is coming along slowly but nicely. It’s cool to live in a place where you can use what you have on your own land for landscaping materials instead of having to go to home depot. It’s one of the very few ways you can save a little money out here.

The Truth about Painted Cabinets

Posted on April 19, 2015 by Jef

Painted woodwork conceals some flaws, and reveals others. Notably, it will reveal poor painting skills. I’m not a big fan of painted cabinets, I suppose not many woodworkers are, but in this case they fit in with the existing design.

With painted cabinets, you can use lower grades of wood, but you still can’t go too cheap because you need a smooth surface and you need sharp corners where you make your cuts. Even painted, any tear-out or splintered edges will be obvious flaws. And if your holes and gaps aren’t adequately filled, they will forever be a glaring defect that everyone will see. So you still have to take care even if you’re going to paint what you’re building.

The door frames are pretty narrow (1 1/2″ wide), and as such I felt the need to join them by mortisse and tenon. They need all the strength they can get.

So, above is a pic of me cutting four tenons at once. I taped all four pieces of wood together so they all fit in the jig, and in one pass I made the exact same cut on all four pieces of wood. This may seem foolishly dangerous, but these pieces are so small that they would not fit into the jig one at a time. Normally when they’re this small I’d just hand cut them, but this seemed to get the job done.

Here’s the frame being assembled. Note the absence of blood; I haven’t lost any fingers yet.

I had to cut out a groove for the mirror. The mirrors are 1/4″ thick glass. I think they’re stronger than the frame I’m putting them in.

It fits well. I hope the paint will conceal that tear-out in the wood. (It won’t.)

I’ve had these mirrors over a year. They’re finally going to have a home.

The fit is great. About 1/16″ between the glass and the wood. I’m going to put a bead of silicone gel around the inside of the wood frame and just rest the glass onto it. I have some plywood backings that will go onto the back of the glass. This should be a really solid door for a medicine cabinet.

Now I’m just waiting for the paint to dry.

The Worst Medicine Cabinets on Orcas Island

Posted on April 5, 2015 by Jef

Do you want to see some ugly medicine cabinets? I’m warning you, these are bad.

Wasn’t kidding, was I? Poorly fitted contraptions of stamped sheet metal, rusting in too many places to adequately fix, that look like they belong on a tug boat that takes barges to Severodvinsk every three months.

I suppose they’re nostalgic in a way. When I arrived, on my first night here in the house, that light fixture had three of the only four working lights on the entire property. Do you want to know how many places are open on Orcas Island at night that sell light bulbs? 0.

So, yeah, I’m thankful for that old light fixture so I didn’t have to go to the bathroom in pitch blackness in a strange house. I’m quite fond of them…. NOT. It’s at the dump now. Good effing riddance. I hated that thing. The cabinets too. I would have thrown knives at them but, you know, seven years bad luck and all.

I drew up full plans to build new cabinets about one year ago, and they’ve been sitting (like many plans I draw) and waiting for me to start cutting wood. I had a full cut list, dimensioned drawings from every angle, and even a materials itinerary of all the hardware and woodware I’d need. I bought the hinges, the knobs, the little metal pegs that go into the holes that hold up the shelves, I even bought the custom cut mirrors !!! all about a year ago. This is one very procrastinated project. In my defense, I’ve been a little busy.

I constructed the two boxes to exactly the dimensions that I had measured a year ago and they fit PERFECTLY! How often does that happen in a woodworker’s lifetime? Not often, for me at least.

Once I knew they fit into place, I could start cutting the inner frame. Everything is going to fit together with lap joints, like the ones shown above. Nothing too fancy, just what works.

I’ve had these pieces of wenge, which is an African hardwood, just lying around from another unfinished project from long ago. I’ve probably had them for about ten years. Finally found a use for them, they are going to be the shelves and bottoms of my bathroom cabinets! Hooray for them. I used to think of wenge as a poor man’s cocobolo (a central American hardwood) but since then the price of wenge has increased. I only need a couple more pieces. There goes my play money for the month of April.

And yeah, I bought that light fixture about a year ago too. It’s simple and it works well for the room. I’m not terribly happy with the housing I made for it, I may have to re-do it at some point. I intend to paint these cabinets, which will conceal a lot of defects, but I’m still not happy with this top part.

So after the boxes were framed in it was time to construct the outer frame that goes atop it. The cabinet doors fit into this part, so it needs to be Perfectly Square and Flat. Lots of clamps and sand bags went into the making of this frame.

Some people get all offended if you look inside their medicine cabinet. Here I’m posting pictures of it on the internet! Look all you want! There’s tylenol, nyquil, deodorant, mouthwash, all sorts of embarrassing things in there. But I know you just came here to see the awesome cabinetry and how well that frame fit into the wall. Looks significantly better than the old Severodvinsk-bound cabinets.

Oh crap, I forgot to make cabinet doors. Well, I guess there’s next week.

Japanese Sword Stand

Posted on March 15, 2015 by Jef

A bokken is a wooden Japanese sword used for training in martial arts. I train with mine almost daily. Lately it’s been just resting on a windowsill or against a log or sitting in the pile of firewood (who keeps putting it there?) but I’ve long wanted to make a stand for it. I’ve had this piece of rock maple leftover from an old project and it looked to be about the perfect dimensions to cut a sword stand out of.

Very simple design. The stand part looks like a soy sauce dispenser, which is Asian, so I feel like I’m on the right track style-wise. I start by making forms out of 1/4″ MDF which I pin to the piece and use it as a template to cut out the shape with a smoothing bit on the router. Normally this work is done with a scroll saw, but I have neither a scroll saw nor do I have any proficiency in a scroll saw. So, like everything else, I just do it the hard way.

Since it’s a small piece, I work with it while it’s still attached to the main board so I can control it better over the router. This is a tricky cut, as the bit will be going against the grain and this is very hard wood. But the nice thing is, it makes for a very smooth and perfect edge, and it’s repeatable. You can make the exact same shape over and over again, until you run out of wood.

I had to remember how to cut tenons, it’s been a while.

With the tenons cut, I begin work on the base. I wanted to give it a nice gentle curve on its sides so it’s not just a slab of wood. Now there are ways to make these curves using special equipment, or (if you’re a cheap bastard like me) you tie a string to a pencil and draw out the radius you want, or (if you’re cheap and lazy) you look around for something that has the exact curve you want to cut out. In this case, I followed the curve of a real Japanese sword. The curve is gentle enough I didn’t have to smooth it on the router, I was simply able to take a sander to it.

I thought it was a good idea to cut out my mortises before I cut out the curves. It’s a lot easier working with a square piece of wood.

Mortises cut, curves all cut, and everything fits together. Still, I wanted to give it a little detail.

I gave it a few more square holes, cut out a groove with an X-acto knife, and threatened it with dental picks until it was good and frightened.

These details really made a difference, gave the piece a little interest.

To clamp it for the glue-up, I used one of my many dowels. I seem to buy a dowel about every week and I will soon have every size they make. The tenons were a nice snug fit, and this thing won’t really see a lot of turbulence except for me picking the sword up and putting the sword down.

I bathed it in a dark stain. I don’t normally stain maple but in this case I wanted a darker color.

A little polyurethane, and Bob’s your uncle!

And it works. It successfully holds a bokken a few inches up from the windowsill, defying the force of gravity, and making the house look less littered. Maybe now my practice sword won’t end up in the firewood rack anymore.

Trap Door!

Posted on March 8, 2015 by Jef

Now it’s open…

… and now it’s shut. Check it out! Our very own locking* trap door storage, ingeniously located under the stairs. How many houses come with a trap door storage area? How cool is that?

That is eight cubic feet of storage space that was completely unused and wasted, and now we can hoard pirate treasure in there if we want to. When you live in a small house, storage space is really valuable.

That bottom riser needs to be replaced at some point. I used some T-111 cedar paneling that I had, which I think looks great, but the bottom one has kind of a defect on the right hand side that wouldn’t take any color. I’ll use it for now, but only because the alternative is to buy a whole 4′ x 8′ sheet just so I can cut a 5″ x 28″ strip out of it. Nah, I’ll wait until I do the rest of the stairs. It’ll work for now.

I’m telling you, whoever stapled the carpet down to the original treads was a madman. Staple holes galore. I could have put wood putty in the holes but then they’d stick out white instead of black. I think this way, the treads look finished but distressed, and not artificially distressed like what you pay extra for at pottery barn. No, this is the real thing. This wood was not only distressed, but beaten, mugged and left for dead.

So, the house has got a lot of different colors and textures going on and I think overall it’s working great. We don’t like everything to be matchy-matchy, we like to have a little variety of styles going on. Again, it’s a small house, and if we did everything in one color set and one style, it would dominate the entire house. A little variation is a good thing.

* so yeah, the trap door doesn’t actually lock just yet. Due to a math error by the designer (me), the key is about 1 centimeter too short to engage the lock. The beam ended up being a little thicker than I intended it to. Well, it’s not like that lock would stop anybody, and it’ll take more than a stiff wind to open the trapdoor anyway. It’s pretty heavy and manages to stay in place by itself.

So with this project completed and the weather outside getting nicer, I think I’m going to spend the next few weeks doing some landscaping and outdoor cleanup and just generally finding other things to spend money on. I’m anxious to continue remodeling up the stairs (you can see those atrocious wooden spindles in the above pics; they must die) but the next phase is going to be pretty big. It’ll probably turn the house into a war zone for six weeks. The more prep work I do before demolition, the smoother it will all go. So I’ll take my time before I get started with it.

Next: Front Door

Posted on March 1, 2015 by Jef

Before – old front door, probably taken from the set of the Brady Bunch. Its diamond shaped panes of glass were impossible to clean. From the outside, the wood was about the same consistency as year old driftwood found on the beach. You could carve it with your fingernail. But it was sturdy and sat correctly on the hinges and closed reasonably well, and it only had one bullet hole in it.

Yeah, time for a new front door. We commissioned a local artist and master woodworker, Todd Spalti, to make us a new front door. There are people who would argue that I’m a woodworker too and I can make a front door myself. Well, maybe si and maybe no, but Todd came very highly recommended and I completely trusted him to make a magnificent front door for us. Besides, I got enough projects of my own right now.

Check out his website. He does really great work. http://www.toddspalti.com/

The new door is absolutely amazing. Solid oak. No bullet holes. Clean lines. Clean windows! We got a nice handle and lockset as well, not to mention new hinges (completely devoid of rust, I might add). You may have noticed there is some new trim around the door, and drywall has magically appeared on the left hand side of the door. Yeah, we’ve been busy.

I’ve been working on the stair landing on the left. I really only wanted to do the drywall on that side but in order to rip out the paneling I had to rip out the stair landing too. Gee, may as well just work on that while I’ve got it all torn up.

And yes, that’s a hockey game on TV in the reflection.

We’ve oscillated quite a bit about whether to get new stair treads or work with the existing 2×10’s that someone sawed up and put down. They were really in horrible shape, having had carpet installed over them for decades. Whoever installed that carpet when nuts with the staple gun. Seriously, it was Beavis after two quarts of espresso, driving staples into every square centimeter of those treads. After I sanded them I didn’t think I wanted to use them, but after some dark stain I think they’ll turn out good. They definitely have the distressed look to them.

The garage is again full of trim pieces and windowsills and window aprons with stain and polyurethane drying atop their surfaces. I think I’ve got about half of the trim in the house replaced, which means I have half to go.

There’s the stair landing with temporary treads and a temporary landing. They used to be shelves in the kitchen cupboard. This is one of those instances where my packrat instinct to keep everything that might be useful someday paid off. They’re even sticky from whatever goop accumulated on them during their life as a cupboard. The stickiness makes them safer, less chance of slipping and falling out the adjacent window.

I’ve had this bronze keyhole escutcheon for about fifteen years, just waiting for a project. Hmm, what could it be for? Maybe we’ll find out next week…